I could relate to your explanation of what “gaslighting” is. I experienced that from my mother. I’m not sure it was deliberate – maybe we just remember the same events differently.

When she shares her “memories” of these events that differ from mine, I don’t argue. I just nod and keep my own memories. They’re mine, not hers and they don’t have to match hers to be both real and true.

I have a fairly passive and conflict-avoiding temperament. I don’t engage in group discussions unless they’re very well structured and moderated. It’s for a good reason that my WordPress blog’s tagline was “I’d rather write than talk”.